With the easing of mandates for masks and other COVID regulations, much of the world has resumed some semblance of pre-pandemic normality. Although not everyone is ready to move forward, like Dara Kass, MD who is still regularly testing COVID.
I’ve gotten to the point where I’m quickly testing myself for COVID 2-3 times a week because I love seeing people and most of my encounters are about food or drink.
How often are you testing?
– Dara Kass, MD (@darakass) May 14, 2022
Based on the relationship between the irreverent responses, that’s a little overkill in the current conditions, Dar.
I try every meal that includes my bedtime snack. I had one of my children move so that I could keep the tests needed for the following year in her bedroom. I have also hired security to ensure no one sets foot on my property. I am convinced that the postman wants to become a super spreader.
– SmokeFan (@ TonyFan1420) May 14, 2022
I try 48 times a day. I test nearby children if they enter my garden. I test every guest in my house every time they walk in the front door. I try all my major appliances. I try my iPhone. I test all UPS, USPS, FedEx and Amazon delivery drivers. I try insects.
– Ryan (@jazzfaninca) May 14, 2022
Even pets are not safe in the prank zone: tests for everyone and for everything, always!
Since I am a good person too, I test my dog Walter on a daily basis. Have you ever tried to drag a wiener dog to the ground (assuming it’s not far away) to stick a cotton ball up its muzzle? Let me tell you, it’s not funny. He is pissed off and runs away from me, but I feel good about myself.
– Lori – Break curfew (@lori_socal) May 14, 2022
If you suffer from long-standing panic due to fear-media distributed porn, et al., It’s nice to know that the testing requirements still persist in some situations.
only when entering the hospital for a medical procedure to leave the country. Stay under your bed until Fauci tells you he’s safe pic.twitter.com/Eb5QkezqkR
– Tony Ultra FJB Bruno (@TonyBrunoShow) May 14, 2022
Irrational paranoia should continue to be encouraged. An abundance of social virtue kits must continue to be provided on demand, to be covered by taxpayers, of course.
I actually think everyone should have access to an adequate and free supply of quick tests and do it during the spikes.
– uché blackstock, md (@uche_blackstock) May 14, 2022
At this point, it is becoming difficult to discern that the parody tackles the wholly tired subject of COVID fears and questionable prevention measures.
Only 2-3 times a week? In my family we call these people “super speakers”.
– Charles CW Cooke (@charlescwcooke) May 14, 2022
Practically the same time you have. Last week I sniffed and tested negative five times, even though we’re masked everywhere. Covid just smashed my son’s baseball team, but he remains uninfected. Long live masks!
– Elizabeth C. McLaughlin (she / she) (@ECMcLaughlin) May 14, 2022
At least constant snot pads and hard commitment to mask use are current choices (the poor single guy on the team standing outside with a useless piece of paper tied to his face getting Mom’s choice). Get ready for another season of radical fear pornography and over-government oversight, clearly, some people are quadruple-vaxxate, in double masks, and are still waiting to tell everyone they told you.